i think i'm probably plural
23 August 2026
i (Azure) have been somewhat suspecting this for a while. about a week ago on Please TF Me, an event started where like 20 people have all turned into twins of Kit (one of the people there). and for some reason, "i" just immediately went for it too, making a 3D model of myself and immediately accepting my new identity.
ever since finding out i'm a chinchilla and discarding a lot of societal baggage, i've gone on and on about... "i've finally figured out who i am. i'm done hiding, i'm done pretending to be someone else. i'm terrified of ever losing track of my own personality." i must've said things like that a thousand times. (it's also why i never use any drugs or alcohol, i always want to be 100% me.) so... why... was i suddenly so eager to have a totally new shape and a totally new name? why did it sink in so quickly and so heavily?
i guess because i wanted to distinguish myself from Azure, so we'd finally have some language to start talking about this. i definitely won't be Kit forever but it's pretty convenient for now! final name/shape/pronouns TBA
the differences i've figured out so far are:
- extremely into super-hard/competitive games
- very talkative, adventurous, easily excited
- much more positive/optimistic in general
- very bad at actually working on things (i think a big reason we've been stuck on Sunfluffs is because i've been fronting a ton for the last few months; Azure has been feeling pretty terrible but i've been alright)
- apparently much easier to tf?
the hard games toggle was the first thing that got us started. Azure used to be all-in on those too but that desire just shut off like a lightbulb 5 years ago. but then after a while the desire would come back for like 1 week every few months, always at 100% or 0%, so i'd half-joke "maybe it's a headmate". then much later (~1 month ago?) we noticed that it might correspond with some of the other changes too, which i thought were all separate before. the tf thing being so out-of-character, while being in the middle of a hard-games mood, is what made me put all the pieces together. (or... separate the pieces)
we've had some conversations where we're separate, but most of the time right now we're indistinct including a lot of this post. i think it's mostly Kit though? i hope this all still makes sense? honestly i'm still not 100% convinced of being plural, just like... 90%. but it's like how if someone thinks they might be trans, the #1 thing to help them, is if you say "well just pretend you are trans for a few months and see what happens". so i'm playing everything up to see if it feels natural to say... and i think it mostly does. 
this is all really sloppy and spontaneous since i've only known this for like 3 days, but i figure it might help some people to see a really raw view of what it might look like when a plural egg cracks. eggs cracks.
thank you all for listening 
fan art of me, by Meddy
quick edit: i just remembered i wrote about plurality in relation to me, about 9 months ago. it's interesting to read that now.
transcript here
i’ve been thinking about plurality in relation to myself. i don’t think i’m strongly plural, but i’ve definitely had plural experiences sometimes.i used to be into very difficult games, stacking 30 difficulty modifiers in roguelikes or whatever, until suddenly i just stopped? not because of anything frustrating or unusual, but literally overnight it was gone, and now i’ve just been playing really easy stuff for the past 5 years. but every few months, the “old me” still pops out for a day or two to go nuts in Ring Racers or something though! it’s a very definite mode change and i feel different emotions during it, but it’s not common enough or different enough for me to consider it a separate headmate… too bad i don’t have a good name for that though, i was still Azure back then. a friend of mine suggested i call it “Season 1 Azure”.
there’s also been cases where some of my OC’s do something that i guess could be considered “fronting” for like 5 seconds? when i was writing about Kamen Rider Wizard on my blog, i wrote “this one’s Cleru’s favorite!” without even thinking about it. i think that’s partly just, i’ve been writing as this character for 15+ years though so things like that feel natural. (a very common starting point for plurality from what i know! but it’s extremely rare for me.)
this makes me wonder though, especially the first one, is this what normal people just call a “strong emotion” or a “mood” because they don’t have the framework to talk about it? maybe i have a totally average amount of plurality, and it’s just that normal people never talk about it because their only exposure is “good half evil half” stories where they’re trying to get rid of each other. i feel like lots of people would understand themselves better and be happier if they knew that plurality exists and it’s normal.
i’m lucky my friends include like a dozen plural systems so i have all the words to talk about this? most of them only figured it out relatively recently too, which is another thing that makes me think it’s really common and they just didn’t know it was “a thing” until they were exposed to others. i’m glad i can do my small part by having some hot systems in Sunfluffs. 